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Today I turn forty years old. Well wait, as with most things in my life, it’s not that simple.
Today is the day that my grandparents found out I was born. My birth certificate states my birthday as tomorrow, but that’s because I was born in a US Military Hospital in Bangkok, Thailand. Bangkok is exactly 12 hours a head of East Coast USA, so although I was born around 10AM on the 11th of June, my grandparents found out about it around 10pm this evening, forty years ago, today.
As I live in Upstate New York, I have always thought of today as my real birthday, but I am perfectly happy to celebrate it both days. Besides the 11th allows me to share my Mother-in-law’s birthday, as my wife shares hers with my Mother’s birthday. Just another bit of oddness you now know about me.
forty…
When I was growing up, forty was old, you were a “grown-up” by the time you were forty. You were supposed to have things such as a stable job, a family including kids approaching teenage years, a house, two cars, and enough money to spend on a few extravagances like occasional family vacations to Disney World. Oh and retirement planning… that’s supposed to be well under way by now, right?
I’ll admit some of those things I do have, and I’m happy for them. Some however I do not.
In case you haven’t taken a moment to do the math, I was a teenager in the 80’s, and in college in the early 90’s. I remember those times as if it were just a few years back. It’s part of the reason I have a hard time accepting that I’m forty. But 2011 is not the 80’s.
Life isn’t turning out exactly as I imagined it would. I suppose it never does for anyone. But who would of thought, I’d be still wondering if I made the right career choices, at forty, who would have thought I’d be having a second child, at forty, who would have thought I’d still be trying to find my way…. at forty.
If you asked me last year what I thought I’d be like today, I’d have guessed a basket case. I would have thought I’d be mid, mid life crisis (do people still have those?), at thirty nine I was terrified of forty. But a lot has changed in the last year, and even though most of the change has added new stresses and worries, especially in light of my 1980’s imaginings of what my life was “supposed” to be like by now, a calm has settled over me.
Somehow, I finally have come to grips with who I am, and where I am despite having very little idea about, and not much of a plan for the future. This it truly shocking to me.
I think most of my calm comes from looking at my friends. I have a number of close friends, close to my heart if not in proximity, that are of the same age or older. Many of them are changing careers, having children, some seem to be just starting out in life, while others are clearly starting over. All at this time in our lives when due to my own preconceived notions we should all be settling down, or settled in… Coasting down the hill, so to speak.
None of my forty something friends or family are ready to just coast, and I absolutely love that about them. You all calm me, ground me, reassure me, and inspire me.
So I want to give a shout out, to all my friends and family that are out there showing me the way, I hope you know I “got your back,” as I know you have mine.
Cindy, Don Ben, Alice, Johny, Shelly, Kym, Rob, Nicole, Bob, and the rest, keep doing what you do. Life is not a preconceived notion born in the 80’s, life is what sneaks up behind you and yells surprise just when you thought you had it under control. And that… that new challenge, is what makes it interesting, even if you don’t think it’s very fun at the time.
Ahh I’m rambling, there is too much sentimental crap rolling around in my head, there always has been, that part of me I can’t seem to escape. (I get that from you Mom)
So I am going to wrap this with a line from some movie I have not seen, that I saw here on Tumblr a few days ago, no wait… I’ll just post the animated GIF, That’s how you young kids do it, right?
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Hungry anyone?
The Ice Cream (by Wolfman- K)
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From the Halloween in the Time of Cholera set on Flicker.
Thanks to @shotbykim for the find.
Halloween #4 (via stevechasmar)
